Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
