My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
