There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
