My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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