Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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