he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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