the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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