I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
