If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
