what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
