while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
