i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
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