Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
