i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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