Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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