I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
