how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
