eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
