the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
