so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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