dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
