rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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