Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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