Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
