so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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