A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
