I CAN MOONWALK!
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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