Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
