she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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