I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
In America we eat man semen.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
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