If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
