No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
