even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
