: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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