i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Your penis caused this!
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