I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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