Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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