I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
