True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
