You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
why didn't you poke me back
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
