ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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