My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
