I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
