I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
