Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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