wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
You smell like stripper and shame
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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