I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
