One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
