Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
