Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
