You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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