Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
